


Geyser

by drakesandmarvel



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi/Sith relationship, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Romance, Soulmates AU where soulmates are assigned through the Force, The Force, Unrequited Love, also I can do whatever I want this is a fic, also: FUCK PALPATINE, can you tell i don't like the Jedi Order?, it's not in the Code!, mentions of slut-shaming, only Force-sensitive ppl have soulmates, the Jedi are a bunch of stuck-up space cops don't @ me, the jedi are not technically forbidden from having sex, when you touch your soulmate a Force bond activates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:53:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29643294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drakesandmarvel/pseuds/drakesandmarvel
Summary: Mara had heard of Force soulmates before, during a class at the Jedi Temple, when she was only a youngling. Force-sensitive beings, united by a Force bond, a profound connexion that only activated once soulmates had touched for the first time. Never did she think her soulmate would be a red-skinned Zabrak with tattoos all over his body. Oh, and that he'd be a Sith Lord, too.Takes place shortly after the events of the Star Wars: Darth Maul 2017 comic book series and a few years before Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
Relationships: Darth Maul/Original Character(s), Darth Maul/Original Female Character(s), Darth Maul/Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Original Female Character(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader
Comments: 20
Kudos: 38





	1. Red in the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! First chapter of my new fic here, let's fuckin goooooo  
> Honestly, I had this idea when watching a YouTube video about the timeline of Darth Maul, in between reading fics about this guy. It doesn't make a whole lotta sense but please bear with me? It's gonna be good I swear!  
> Expect a good (hopefully) enemies to lovers trope (we all love that one don't we?), lots of self-doubt and distrust of each other, and some angst, I guess. I don't really know what the term "angst" encompasses so I'm gonna assume "we hate each other but also we don't really but like we fight a lot verbally and physically for good measure but we never actually hurt each other" falls into this category.  
> The fic's title is inspired by the song "Geyser" by the queen of sad music, Mitski.  
> Hope you'll enjoy!

It was nighttime in Coruscant. The streets were bustling with life, drunk people heading to yet another bar, criminals hiding in the shadows. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Mara Thasena, two Padawans from the Jedi Order, were patrolling the streets. Their masters, Qui-Gon Jinn and Plo Koon, gave them the assignment as a part of their training. The Padawans were two of the best learners in the Order, and their masters wanted to see how they did in the streets on their own. So, Obi-Wan and Mara were walking in the dark, neon-filled streets of the ecumenopolis, assisting the local police and looking for a wanted fugitive. They were questioning citizens, asking for any kind of information that could prove useful in the search for the fugitive.   
  
After a few hours of investigating, they were given a strong lead to the man. A homeless person had seen him get into an abandoned warehouse a few days after his escape. The Padawans headed straight to the location they were given, got inside the warehouse, and managed to find the fugitive, a tall male Twi’lek. He started firing at them, holding them off while he tried to escape. The Padawans were able to deflect his shots, moving towards him in the process. At some point, he threw a grenade near them, causing an explosion that blinded them for a short moment.   
  


“Crap! We lost him.” Mara exclaimed, trying not to let her anger show. 

“Mara, focus.” Obi-Wan retorted in his signature calm voice. She didn’t know how he did it sometimes.

“Focus on what? He’s gone. We suck.” 

“On him. Let’s try to find him through the Force.” He explained, taking her hand in his and closing his eyes. Mara followed and they both reached out through the Force.

After a little while, Mara was able to picture him. He was crouched in a vent, talking to someone on a commlink. She strengthened her focus on him and was able to make out more of his surroundings. The vent was rusty, worn down. It looked a lot like the rest of the warehouse. He wasn’t far. Her eyes snapped back open and she tugged on Obi-Wan’s hand to get him out of his little trance.

“I found him.” She whispered.  
  


Obi-Wan looked at her and nodded, and she pointed towards the Twi’lek’s location. They moved quietly through the warehouse, not wanting to alert him of their presence. Once they were close enough to the vent, Mara reached through the Force again to make sure that she had the right location. It didn’t take long for her to see him again, and she was sure. He was right here. She nodded to Obi-Wan and they lit their lightsabers in unison, the blue of Obi-Wan’s blade and her light orange lighting up the space around them. In a swift motion, they cut the vent on each side of the fugitive, and the part where he’d been hiding fell on the ground with a loud noise. They heard the Twi’lek groan in pain and knew he probably wouldn’t run this time. Mara crouched in front of one of the openings and grinned at the fugitive, who seemed terrified.   
  


“That’ll teach you to run from us.”   
  


She then took a few steps back and extended her arm in front of her, using the Force to pull him out of the vent. Soon enough, he was in handcuffs, sitting on the dirty ground outside of the warehouse, muttering things in a foreign language. Obi-Wan and Mara were being thanked and congratulated by police officers nearby. Through the night, none of them noticed or felt the presence of someone worse than a simple fugitive.

The tattooed Zabrak had been following them all night, as a part of his routine. Each evening, he picked a new duo of Jedi to stalk to feed his hatred and his anger. After he killed Eldra Kaitis, a Jedi Padawan, he couldn’t wait until he could taste the blood of the Jedi again. Although his master had ordered him to wait, to steer clear of the Jedi for now, he couldn’t help himself. And then a few nights ago, when he was following Jedi Master Plo Koon and his Padawan, he felt something. The Padawan’s vicinity had ignited something through the Force. Weirdly enough, it wasn’t hatred, or anger, or anything like that. It was something he’d never felt before, a feeling he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He wanted to find her again to figure out what she was doing to him, but she’d been off-world for a few days. So he waited, resuming his traditional stalking activities until he saw her and the other Padawan walking out of the Temple. And now, there he was. Perched on a rooftop near the abandoned warehouse, his cloak, and hood on, watching the one who’d intrigued him so much the past few days. 

He’d heard of Force Soulmates before. Each Force-sensitive being in the Galaxy had a soulmate, someone who understood them better than anyone else, assigned through the Force. Force Soulmates shared a Force bond, a physical and mental connexion stronger than any other in the Universe, which activated the second they touched for the first time. Maul knew that Dark Side users were able to feel the presence of their soulmate before touching them, seeing as their usage of the Force was deeply tied to their emotions. So he wanted to try something to make sure she was his soulmate. Although he hated the prospect of his soulmate being a Jedi, he had to admit he found Mara to be quite attractive. She had wavy deep black hair down to just under her shoulders with bangs. Her skin was light brown, her lips were full and her eyes were deep brown. Another reason he wanted to find out if she was his soulmate was to see inside her mind. To figure out if she could be turned to the Dark Side. 

The minute Obi-Wan and Mara were back in the bustling streets of Coruscant, Maul made his way down to the streets, making sure his hood was hiding enough of his face. His golden irises were fixed on her as they both walked closer to each other. And then it happened. He pretended to bump into her, uttering a fake apology as he took the opportunity to wrap his fingers around her uncovered forearm for a moment before he walked away. He hurried into an empty alleyway as the bond activated. He’d found his soulmate, and she was a Jedi. He saw her memories, images of her training, of her friendship with Obi-Wan. He also felt her anger at the Jedi council, at their complacency, at the rigid nature of the Jedi Code. He smirked to himself. There was a path for him to corrupt her.

When Mara felt that stranger’s fingers close around her arm, she didn’t think much of it. People in Coruscant were sometimes a little too tactile for her liking, but she didn’t hold it against them. However, when she turned to look at the stranger’s face, she was puzzled. She only caught a glimpse of his scarlet red skin, of his thick black tattoos, and of his crown of horns, but it was enough to amaze her. She’d never seen anyone like this before. She was watching the stranger leave when she felt it hit her. A wave of emotions she’d been trained to ignore. Hatred. Anger. Fear. Pain. So much pain. She saw memories that weren’t her own. Images of torture, murder, blood, and tears. It was too much at once. She cried out and collapsed on the ground, her friend immediately kneeling by her side, not understanding what was happening to her.  
  


“Mara? Are you alright? What’s going on?” Obi-Wan asked, confused and worried.

“So...many...emotions. I can’t- I can’t take it!” 

She cried out again as she passed out, overwhelmed and exhausted by the intense wave of negative emotions that just crashed over her.


	2. Bonded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mara, Obi-Wan and Plo Koon go through the events of the night and try to figure out what caused Mara to pass out.

When Mara came to, she was in her room at the Jedi Temple, in her bed, lying above the covers. Obi-Wan was talking to Master Plo Koon on the opposite side of the room, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. She wondered what was going on for a minute before she remembered what happened. The stranger. The negative emotions. The memories. Everything. She gasped in horror and shock, not quite understanding what had happened exactly. All she knew was that this hooded guy bumped into her, and then she collapsed to the ground, feeling emotions that weren’t her own.

Alerted that she had woken up by the gasp coming from the bed, Plo Koon and Obi-Wan stopped their conversation and walked over to the bed, standing on each side. Mara sat up, her back resting against the wall behind the bed, and she looked at them both in confusion, waiting for either one of them to explain what happened or announce that they caught the asshole who did this to her. But she was only met with worried stares and heavy silence.   
  


“Will anyone explain what the hell just happened to me? Please?” Mara pleaded, trying to not let her anger get the best of her.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out, my Padawan.” Plo Koon answered in his ever soothing voice. That was one thing she liked about her Master, the way his voice was always so calm and serene. “First of all, are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just...confused.” Mara looked down at her hands, which were resting on her lap. She was digging under her nails, a habit she had when she felt anything other than the peace the Jedi Order held sacred. 

“Good. As long as you’re not hurt, that’s what matters.” Plo Koon reassured her, gently patting her shoulder. “Can you tell us what happened to you? What made you pass out?”

“I...I don’t even understand, to be honest.” Mara sighed. “I was just walking with Obi-Wan when some guy bumped into me. He apologized and then I felt this...this wave of anger. Of fear. Of hatred. And so, so much pain.” Her eyes welled up with tears as she thought about it. “It was all so vivid, so intense. I saw memories that weren’t mine. Memories involving so much darkness and violence…”   
  


Plo Koon and Obi-Wan listened intently as she told them what she’d felt, Obi-Wan bringing a hand up to stroke his chin. He had no idea what could’ve triggered such a phenomenon. He remembered the stranger in the hood and cloak who walked into her but didn’t think it was that man’s fault. How could he have done such a thing? 

Plo Koon was deep in thought, too. He knew this was probably the Force bond between her and her soulmate activating, but was still confused about how this random person could’ve activated it. The Jedi had a strong system to identify Force-sensitive beings across the Galaxy, going to get them as babies to train them in the ways of the Jedi. That way, most - if not all - the Force users in the Universe were either Jedi younglings, Padawans, Knights, or Masters. So how could someone not from the Order be able to use the Force? Sure, they could’ve missed some kids in the process, but still, it seemed very unlikely.   
  


“Tell me, Mara, did this man touch you when he bumped into you?” Plo Koon asked, wanting to clear this matter as quickly as possible and find out who this strange Force user could be.

“I don’t…” Mara started, before remembering the feeling of the stranger’s incredibly warm fingers around her forearm. “Yes, he did. He touched my arm before he left. Why?”  
  


As soon as she answered that question, her mind drifted back to memories of her classes when she was a youngling. One class in particular. The one about Force soulmates. Her eyes opened wide, not believing this man was hers. Not believing that her soulmate could have such dark thoughts. Her eyes darted to Plo Koon, who was waiting for her to put words on it all.  
  


“You think he’s my soulmate, don’t you?” She asked, her voice quiet and filled with worry.

“What you described sounds a lot like a Force bond activating. The experience can be intense and overwhelming, even for the most seasoned Jedi.” He lifted his head to look at Obi-Wan, who had a saddened look in his eyes. “Have you ever experienced it, Obi-Wan?”

“No, not yet. Have you, Master?” Plo Koon nodded slowly, crossing his arms on this torso.

“Most Jedi Masters have.”

“Did it feel this...painful?” Mara asked, trying to see if it was normal to feel only negative things when it happened.

“It was actually quite pleasant. It happened when I was a Padawan. I was introduced to another Padawan, named Sylla. When we shook hands, I felt her deepest emotions and saw her farthest memories. But, unlike you, it was mostly neutral.” The Jedi Master had a small smile on his face as he remembered what it had felt like to finally meet his soulmate. “However, as Jedi, we’re forbidden from having attachments of any kind, and that includes soulmates. When Jedi meet their soulmates, they have to tell the Council and swear to keep their interactions with their soulmate to the strict minimum. If they don’t they can be cast out of the Order. As a result, I’ve only seen Sylla a couple of times since then.”  
  


The room was filled with silence as Plo Koon stopped talking, his words sinking in with the two young Padawans. While Obi-Wan understood and accepted the Jedi Code and what it entailed, Mara always had a problem with it. She never brought it up in fear of being excluded from the Order, but she’d always felt like the Code was stupid and inhumane, especially the part about not forming attachments. So when her Master told her that he renounced love for the Order, she couldn’t help but feel anger bubble up in her. So she kept silent to avoid saying something she might regret later.  
  


“Can you tell me what you saw in the memories so that we can try to identify this unknown Force user?” Plo Koon asked Mara softly. The Padawan closed her eyes and focused, trying to reach through the Force to see those visions again.

“I see a little boy, alone in the corner of a windowless room. He’s crying. His skin is red and black, and he has horns on his head.” She slowly describes what little she’s able to see, hoping it’ll help them get a clearer picture of this man. “Now he’s older, a teenager. He…” Her breath catches as she takes in the flashes of red light swirling around. “He’s wielding a lightsaber… It’s red and double-sided. He’s killing something, but he doesn’t feel remorse. Only...anger.” She furrows her brows as her voice gets shakier. “He’s an adult now. He’s in a dark room, on a simple bed. There’s muffled noise around, like someone’s playing loud music nearby. His eyes are closed, he’s sitting cross-legged like he’s meditating.” She feels as the memory gets more real, more vivid. She can almost feel his presence in front of her. “He looks the same. Red skin, black tattoos, a crown of horns on his head. He’s opening his eyes and…”  
  


_ “Hello there, soulmate.”  
  
_

The words resonated in her head as her eyes shot open and she felt her breathing get quicker and quicker. He was in front of her, his golden eyes piercing through hers, his naked torso heaving slowly with each breath he took. He had a knowing smirk on his face as if he knew she was trying to identify him. She didn’t recognize the decor around him, though. It wasn’t her room. But...she was in her room, how could she see him in front of her if he wasn’t?   
  


“How...what is going on?” She asked, out of breath, not understanding how any of this was possible.

“You’ll find out soon enough, little Padawan.”  His voice was softer than she imagined, almost velvety, with a distinguished accent. She was about to talk again when her room reappeared in front of her, and he was gone.

“What the…” She whispered, sweaty and out of breath. Obi-Wan was holding both of her shoulders, shaking her a little and calling her name. 

“Mara! Are you okay?” He asked with worry.

“He was in front of me...I don’t understand…” She instinctively turned to her Master, hoping he would provide the answers she needed. “He was in front of me, I swear.”

“I believe you, Mara. See, Force bonds can be very powerful with strong Force users, powerful enough to project yourself and your surroundings to your soulmate. It sounds like it is what yours did.” 

“He’s not a Jedi, how can he be so strong?” 

“Jedi are not the only ones who train to master the Force. There’s also the Grey Jedi, the Dark Jedi, and...the Sith.” Plo Koon explained, his arms crossed once again. “The Grey Jedi don’t usually give in this strongly to the darkness, whereas the Dark Jedi and the Sith are known to do so and wield red lightsabers, like the one you saw in your soulmate’s memory. However, only the Sith can achieve such power… It can’t be.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m not saying anything, for now, Mara. I only ask that you stay away from your soulmate and don’t answer his calls through the Force until we figure this out. I have to discuss this with the Council.”   
  


And with that, he gave her a nod and left the room. Obi-Wan was looking at her with an expression she couldn’t quite read. She let out a laugh of disbelief and looked back down at her hands, still shaking from what she’d just experienced. Obi-Wan followed her gaze and took one of her hands in his, trying to steady it. His thumb was softly drawing mindless shapes on the back of it in an attempt to soothe her, but he knew it wasn’t working. Her brows were still furrowed, her anger and confusion dripping out of her through the Force.  
  


“Mara…” He said gently, his other hand coming to grab her free one. “I know you’re frustrated but don’t give in to those emotions.”

“Frustrated doesn’t even begin to cover what I’m feeling right now, Obi-Wan.” She took her hands out of his grip and threw her legs over the edge of the bed, resting her elbows on her knees and grabbing her head. “My soulmate is either a Dark Jedi or a Sith. Can you fucking believe that? The Force linked me with a man who serves evil. What is that supposed to say about me?”

“Hey, hey, don’t start doubting yourself, okay?” Obi-Wan tried to reassure her as he walked on the other side of the bed, kneeling in front of her to face her. “That’s probably what he wants. To make you doubt, to make you tap into your darkest emotions. Don’t give him that pleasure.” His hands went to rest on the side of her knees, his thumbs again caressing her to make her relax. She lifted her gaze to look straight at him. Her expression had shifted. She just looked sad now, and the sight made Obi’s heart hurt for a minute.

“You know, for the longest time, I thought it was you.” Her voice was timid, hoarse. “When we touched skin to skin for the first time I was so disappointed that nothing happened. It would’ve been so much easier.”

“But then we wouldn’t have been able to spend so much time together. To become such good friends.” Obi-Wan said to relieve her a little, although he knew what she’d felt when they’d touched for the first time. He, too, was hoping that Mara would be his soulmate.

“Still would’ve been better than having a Dark Side user as my soulmate.”   
  


She chuckled dryly, slowly standing in front of him as took a step back and did the same. She took him in her arms, the gesture almost desperate, and it took Obi-Wan every bit of the restraint in him to not bury his face in her neck. Her arms were tight around his neck, one of her hands playing with his Padawan braid, while his were timidly wrapped around her middle. They stayed like this silently for a few minutes, communicating their feelings through the Force. Although what they had was nothing close to a Force bond, it was still a connexion that allowed them to feel each other’s presence and feelings when they were close. It was part of why they worked so well together, why they understood each other so much.

Obi-Wan and Mara had known each other since they were about 8 years old, and they immediately became tight-knit. They trained together, had participated in the Gathering and gotten their first kyber crystal together… When they’d been assigned their Masters, they did everything to work together as often as they could. In short, they were the best friends they could ever have. However, Obi-Wan was concealing his true feelings for Mara. He was hopelessly in love with her. He knew that as a Jedi, these feelings were frowned upon in the Order and that they could prove dangerous, so he never told anyone or even showed the slightest bit of affection other than friendship towards Mara. Besides, he knew that Mara was a bit of a player. She liked to flirt - a LOT - and she was known amongst other Padawans their age for the number of times she’d spent nights ‘sleeping’ outside of the Temple. Obi-Wan figured that if she fooled around this much, she probably didn’t think about him the way he did about her. And he was right. 

As much as Mara loved Obi-Wan, it was all purely platonic to her. She loved him like one would love a sibling, nothing more. In truth, she never felt anything even remotely close to romantic love for anyone, even as a youngling. She didn’t know why - it just hadn’t happened to her yet. She’d started having casual sex when she turned 19, as a way of expressing her dislike of what she considered archaic rules stated by the Jedi Code. Also, it had been a way for her to keep her emotions in check, to relieve stress, and feel pleasure in a life otherwise so devoid of it. While attachments were off-limits, sex wasn’t. So she took advantage of it. She knew she’d developed a bit of a reputation amongst her peers, but at this point, she didn’t care. It was her only distraction from the monotony of life as a Jedi, so she was going to enjoy it no matter what others thought about her. She’d been called names by other Padawans - a slut, a whore, a harlot - but she didn’t see these terms as particularly derogatory. So what if she was a slut, a whore, and a harlot? At least she was brave and bold enough to enjoy herself despite the rules, something that couldn’t be said about most of her fellow Padawans.

After about five minutes of hugging, Mara slowly parted from Obi-Wan, to his dismay. She gave him a grateful smile and went to her dresser to get some new clothes. She’d been wearing these for too long, and it reminded her of that Zabrak, so she decided she’d better change. Obi-Wan watched silently as she picked out some new clothes. She usually wore a pale orange undertunic, to match the color of her lightsaber, a dark grey tunic, and black tabards crossed at her chest. Her obi was black as well, with a black leather belt on top of it. She pulled out an outfit that looked just like the one she was wearing and turned to Obi-Wan.  
  


“You can leave, you know? I’m fine.” She said in a reassuring tone, knowing he was probably staying to make sure she was okay.

“Are you sure?”

“Yup. Don’t worry about me.” She smiled and he returned the gesture before leaving his friend’s room.   
  


She sighed in relief and headed to the bathroom to shower and change. It was late morning in Coruscant, and although her Master didn’t require her presence today to let her rest, she was determined to do something of her afternoon. After her shower, she brushed her teeth and washed her face, dressed up, and headed out of her room towards the Temple’s library.


	3. Motion Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mara's soulmate reaches out again and offers a meeting. Mara's deepest thoughts and feelings are laid out in front of her, and her soulmate's intentions become clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! New chapter!   
> I want to thank those who comment, leave kudos and bookmark the fic, it means a lot so thank you!! Also you've been so kind in the comments it's insane and it makes my heart full :)  
> A lot of you were asking for more Maul so I hope this quenches your thirst!  
> Hope you enjoy!!

Mara had been in the library for hours - she'd lost count of how many though. The librarian, Jedi Master Jocasta Nu, had helped her find books about the different beliefs associated with the Force. She’d hoped to find books about who the Sith were, what they believed in, just to figure out what kind of person her soulmate could be. But such scriptures were not welcome in the Jedi Temple’s library, Master Jocasta had explained, in fear that some Jedi would be seduced by the Sith philosophy, one that required less self-control than that of the Jedi and was deemed like an easy choice for weak-minded Force users. 

So here she was, having read yet another book about the dangers of the Dark Side or another cautionary tale about a Jedi who fell to the Dark Side and was met with a tragic fate. She honestly didn't pay much attention to the words in front of her anymore. She sighed in desperation, her head falling to the book and her eyes closing out of boredom. It was peaceful for a second, her thoughts drifting away to finally allow her to relax after the night she'd just had.   


_ “Tired, I assume?” _

His voice resonated in her head again. She carefully lifted her head up and opened her eyes, and she saw him again. He was still shirtless, still sitting cross-legged on a bed. Still looking at her with a mix of amusement and hate. This time, she didn't let her fear get the best of her. He seemed hell-bent on annoying her and projecting himself to her without her consent, but that didn't mean she was going to let it happen without putting up a fight. Her eyes were focused on his, determined and unflinching, her fists clenched on either side of her body. She didn't know much about this guy, but she knew she hated his guts so far.

“A little warning would be nice.” She simply said to him, her voice stern and assured. 

“Sorry, I just couldn't wait to talk to you.” Mara could sense a hint of sarcasm in his voice. This was fun for him.

“What, are you in love with me or something?” She challenged, trying to get the upper hand in this exchange.

“Far from it, actually. Just curious. I didn't expect my soulmate to be a...Jedi.” He almost hissed when he said the word. Whatever he was, he was clearly not a fan of the Order.

“Are you a Dark Jedi?” The Zabrak let out a dark chuckle at the words.

“Oh, little Padawan, you hurt me. I am something far more powerful than that.”

“So you're a Sith then.” Mara said with a nod of the head towards his projection. 

“I see you know about my kind.”

“Only that you use the Dark Side and that you're the historic enemies of the Jedi.”

“Would you like to know more?” Maul asked, his voice coldly calm, the low tone sending a shiver through Mara’s spine. 

“Why the fuck would I want that now?” She barked at him, the thought of her turning to the Dark Side offensive to her.

“Because you're curious. You want to learn. The way the Jedi Order withholds information about the other ways to use the Force frustrates you.” He paused, examining her face, his eyes traveling over her features, from her eyebrows to her lips. Seeing she didn't seem to object to his conclusions, he continued. “Let me relieve you of that frustration. In person.”

“Yeah right, so you can kill me the first chance you get. I’m not stupid, Sith.” She hissed the word out as he had with the word Jedi earlier, giving him a taste of his own medicine, but it didn't seem to have much of an effect on him.

“Now, now. Why would I want to kill my soulmate?” A smirk slowly appeared on his face, making him even more intimidating than he already was. “I’ll let you make your decision. I’ll be waiting at the warehouse, you know the one, in an hour.”

And just like that, he disappeared from view. Mara was left panting heavily in front of her book, her mind racing. A part of her knew that going to meet the Sith was a terrible idea, one that would either see her dead or injured in the end. But another knew he was right. She was frustrated, annoyed with the way the Jedi withheld so much knowledge from her, with their overprotective ways. For people whose faith relied on the lack of emotions, they were awfully scared that some of their students explored new ways to connect with the Force.

Weighing the pros and the cons in her head, Mara closed her book aggressively and got up, not even bothering to put it back on its shelf. She stormed out of the library and headed straight to her room to retrieve her lightsabers, which rested on her nightstand. She safely clasped them on her belt, took a look at herself in the mirror, and after a deep breath or two, she was out of her room and into the corridors of the Temple. She tried her best to keep a neutral face while walking in the hallways despite the hundred emotions boiling within her. However, when she bumped into Obi-Wan, his expression told her she was not doing a great job.

“Is everything alright, Mara?” There was a hint of concern in his voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Where are you going?” He asked, his eyes brushing over her lightsabers at her belt and her clenched fists.

“Out, I need some air. To think.” She lied with a small smile. Obi-Wan studied her for a second, his brows furrowing ever-so-slightly as he examined her face.

“Are you sure you should leave the Temple? Your, uh, soulmate is probably still in Coruscant, it could be dan-”

“I don’t need a babysitter, Obi-Wan, thank you.” She snapped before sighing and looking at her friend apologetically. He was just worried. “Sorry, it’s just...I can take care of myself. I just need to be alone and outside for a few.”

“I’ll leave you alone then.” He said, hurt by the way his friend had talked to him, before walking to his quarters.

Mara sighed, disappointed by her behavior, and headed out of the Temple. It was early in the afternoon and the surface of Coruscant was bustling with life. Usually, she would take her time walking around the streets of the surface, imagining what the lives of people around were like. But she was in a bit of a hurry. She quickly grabbed a cab to the area where the warehouse was, and walked the rest of the way to the place she’d caught the fugitive a few hours earlier. 

The warehouse was just as worn down and eerie as it had been the night before, the signs of their fight with the fugitive still visible, the ground darkened and scorched from the explosive that was thrown at her and Obi-Wan. She put a hand on her right lightsaber instinctively, feeling that her soulmate was close. She heard his footsteps before she saw him, slowly and calmly stomping somewhere around the place, resonating closer and closer with each step, until she felt his presence behind her. She turned around slowly and finally saw him in the flesh. He was wearing a cloak that covered most of his figure, his head half-covered in a hood. She could only make out his bright amber eyes, staring at her so intensely she felt a shiver all over her body. He was tall, taller than her by a head or two, and although she couldn’t see her body in detail, she could tell he was well built, with large shoulders. They stared at each other for a bit before the Zabrak removed his hood, revealing his face. She took some time to go over his features quickly, her eyes roaming his head from his horns to his lips, studying the intricate design of his tattoos. He was much more intimidating in person. 

“Hello, little Padawan.” He said, his voice low and threatening.

“Stop calling me that.” She snapped, tightening her hold around her lightsaber. The show of annoyance made the Sith Lord chuckle.

“Oh, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you?”

“Who are you?” She asked, ignoring his comment. She didn’t want to spend more time with him than necessary.

“My name is Darth Maul. And you…” He took a few slow steps forward, Mara was frozen in place by her fear. “Are Mara Thasena, Padawan to Jedi Master Plo Koon.”

“How do you know?” Her voice came out quieter than intended, merely a whisper, betraying her and showing her fear.

“It was in one of the visions I had of your life. I believe it was the day you became a Padawan.” He started pacing around her, coming a little closer. “You were young, still hopeful and obedient… Things you haven’t been for a long time now. What happened?” 

“Whatever it is you’re trying to do, it’s not going to work.”

“I’m not trying to do anything.” He stood directly in front of her, his eyes fixed on hers. His stare was intense, almost overwhelming. “I just sense a lot of frustration in you. You’re disillusioned by the Jedi and their pathetic Order. You’re longing for something more. Something better.”

“You have a whole lot of imagination, I’ll give you that.” Mara said with a humorless chuckle. She had been trying to ignore her feelings towards the Order for some time now, and the fact that he laid them all in front of her out loud hurt her. 

“You want more than what the Jedi have offered you so far. Yet, you continue to deny that you do. Is it because it hurts to realize you dedicated your life to a delusion?”

“Shut the fuck up, Sith. You know nothing of me and of the Jedi.”

“Oh, Mara… I know you better than anyone else in the Galaxy.” His voice was reduced to a near growl, his eyes still fixed on hers, his focus only on her thoughts.

“That’s enough!” She snapped, igniting one of her lightsabers and attempting to strike Maul, who skillfully dodged the blow, putting out his own weapon and igniting one of the blades. 

“If what I was saying wasn’t true, it wouldn’t have angered you this much, little Padawan.” Mara snapped again, lurching towards him and trying to hit him. Maul blocked the strikes, pressing against her blade and bringing his face close to hers. “There is so much anger in you… your potential is wasted with the Jedi. Come with me, learn new ways to exploit the Force. Together, we’ll become more powerful than you can imagine.”

“I’m not interested in power, I’m not like you!” She Force pushed him away, creating some distance between them, but he was still standing. “I want to help people, not wreak havoc in the Galaxy.” Maul attacked again, using the Force to pin her against a wall and keep her from moving, then putting one of his blades over her throat. 

“Do the Jedi and the Light Side fulfill your lackluster ambitions? Or do you feel stuck?” His face was so close to hers she could feel his breath brushing against her face. Her heartbeat was incredibly fast, and she felt a mix of attraction and intense hatred for her soulmate. Maul sensed it, and a dark smirk appeared on his face as he gently caressed one of her cheeks. “Join me. Destroy the Jedi Order with me. Help me build a community of Force users that doesn’t deny its members’ emotions, one that encourages to feel, to grow.” 

“Fuck you, Darth Maul.” The insult drew a deep chuckle from the Sith, who retracted his blades and put his lightsaber back on his belt. He turned around and slowly walked away, leaving Mara panting and sweating against the wall.

“You resist, but deep down, you know you’re not where you belong.” Once he was at enough of a distance, he turned back to look at her and put his hood back on. “We’ll see each other soon, Mara Thasena. I hope you’ll have changed your mind then.” 

And with a jump through one of the many holes in the roof of the warehouse, he was out of sight. Mara retracted her lightsaber’s blade, putting it back on her belt. She placed a shaky hand on her chest to calm her heart, which was still pounding, but it didn’t work. When she decided to go meet with him, she expected him to tell her more about the Sith and the Dark Side, not to expose her forbidden feelings and confuse her about her affiliations with the Jedi Order. She took a moment to sit on the ground and meditate, reflecting on their meeting, before she took her time walking back to the Temple, which was a few hours away by foot.

By the time she arrived, night had fallen on Coruscant. The Temple’s hallways were a little less crowded than during the day, most of the Jedi being either in their chambers or in the banqueting hall for dinner. Although she hadn’t eaten all day, she wasn’t hungry. Her mind was too busy to think about eating right now. She headed straight for Obi-Wan’s chambers, knowing he’d be in there meditating at this time of day.


	4. Sit/Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mara voices her doubts about the Jedi Order to Obi-Wan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neeeeeeew chapter! Lots of dialogue since this is basically a long conversation (I guess an angsty one).   
> Enjoy!

When Mara reached Obi-Wan’s room, she didn’t even have time to knock on his door before it opened, her friend standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a knowing look on his face.  
  


“Back from your walk?” Obi-Wan quipped, one of his eyebrows raised.

“How did you know I was here?” Mara asked in disbelief.

“You’re very loud, you know. Could feel your turmoil the second you got on this floor.” Obi-Wan explained, moving to let his friend enter the room.   
  


Obi-Wan’s room was simple and bare, a good representation of his devotion to the Jedi Order. There wasn’t a single personal belonging in sight except for his lightsaber. No picture, no letter, not even artwork. The walls were a beige color, similar to the one he wore on his tunic, and the floor was covered with the same maroon carpet as the other rooms. His bed was simple as well, with white sheets and a pillow covering a mattress placed onto a modest bed base. The only other pieces of furniture in the room were a wooden nightstand and wardrobe, and a large round ottoman placed by the only window of the room. 

Mara walked in slowly and went to sit on the ottoman. To say she looked distraught was an understatement. After closing the door, Obi-Wan came to sit beside her, the ottoman large enough to accommodate two people.   
  


“Care to tell me what’s going on?” Obi-Wan inquired, worried despite his witty demeanor a few seconds earlier. Mara stayed silent for a few minutes before finally opening up to her friend about her state of mind.

“What are we doing here, Ben? We’re supposed to be learning how to use and master the Force, yet we’re not told everything about it. How are we supposed to master it if some aspects are kept from us?” She said softly, using her friend’s nickname for the first time in years. “And...what are we even fighting for?” Obi-Wan took a few seconds to answer, taken aback by the nickname he hadn’t heard in years and her words about feeling limited in her knowledge of the Force.

“We...we are not fighting. We’re keeping the peace in the Galaxy. This is what we do.” 

“Yeah but what does ‘keeping the peace’ mean? Most of the time we’re off helping some Senators negotiate treaties on some planet, or convincing Nations not to break off from the Republic, but...how is that helping anyone?” Mara was staring off into nothingness in front of her, her brows furrowed, while Obi-Wan was looking at her, trying to understand where she was going. “Have you ever taken a walk in the lower levels of Coruscant?” Obi-Wan shook his head no, and Mara continued. “We hardly ever go patrolling there, yet there’s so much to be done...we’re always patrolling the surface, escorting some high-profile politician, doing the Republic’s bidding but they’re not the ones who really need us.” She was starting to sound more passionate now, her anger and frustration bubbling up inside of her as she finally questioned the Jedi Order’s missions out loud. She stood up and started pacing around the room. “You know there are people down there who live in total squalor, who are at the mercy of criminals and are forced to do terrible things to get food on the table. And it’s the same all over the Galaxy! People are enslaved, exploited, impoverished, murdered, robbed... for no reason. Where are we for those people? For those that really need our help?” She stopped pacing, turning to look directly at Obi-Wan, who seemed surprised by her sudden outburst. “The Jedi have become puppets of the Senate and the Chancellor. The Order has been brainwashing us to do their bidding since we were kids, feeding us stories of selflessness and benevolence to keep us interested, while completely destroying our personalities and our ambition in the process. I’m not sure I want to be a puppet anymore.” 

“What happened to you in the last few hours to turn you into such a…” Obi-Wan wondered out loud, pausing when he remembered their exchange from earlier. He frowned when he realized where she’d been. “You met with him, didn’t you? He’s the one that put those ideas in your head!” Mara chuckled humorlessly, shaking her head at her friend’s unawareness.

“I’ve had these thoughts for years, Ben, he merely dug them out of the hole I buried them in.” Mara turned away from her friend, who got up and caught her arm.

“Don’t you see what he’s trying to do? He wants you to doubt, to lose trust in the Jedi. In your family.”

“Are you even listening to me?” Mara snapped, yanking her arm out of his hand, spinning around to face him. “This isn’t him talking. Not him, not the Dark Side, not anyone or anything else. It’s  _ me _ !”

“You’re clearly not hearing yourself if you don’t think what you’re saying is tainted with darkness.” Obi-Wan warned, frowning again, his hand ready to call his lightsaber if needed. 

“Since when is doubting the legitimacy of the Jedi Order a sign of darkness? Just because I’m asking myself questions doesn’t mean I’ve fallen to the Dark Side! I’m just wondering if this is the right place for me to be, that’s all.” 

“But why? And why now?”

“Because I’m tired of pretending to be fulfilled by what we do when I want more! Because I want to be able to express myself and to love freely! Because I’m tired of the Council thinking they’re all-powerful and wise when most of the time their decisions make no sense!” She exclaimed, counting on her fingers as she exposed her reasons to Obi-Wan, who was shaking his head in complete disbelief. “Because, for the first time, I see a way out for myself. Not one that I particularly like, but a way out nonetheless. And I’m not sure there will be another if I don’t take that one.” The last sentence was said with sadness, almost with regret, and Obi-Wan’s eyes widened at the admission.

“You’re going to go with him?”

“I don’t know yet.” She closed her eyes and lowered her head.   
  


One part of her knew that she had to leave now, while she had the opportunity, but another was doubtful. Not only would she be leaving with a Sith stranger she barely knew anything about, who happened to be her soulmate, but she would also be leaving behind the only home, the only life, and the only family she’d ever known. Despite her aversion for the Jedi Council and the Order as a whole, she’d become attached to so many people in the Temple. Obi-Wan, of course, but also her Master, Plo Koon, as well as Master Qui-Gon and Grand Master Yoda. Then there were Masters Quinlan Vos, Kit Fisto, and Shaak Ti, too. People who had been an important part of her life, who’d taught her so much. It would bring her so much pain to leave without saying goodbye, without giving them an explanation. Without knowing if she’d ever see them again. But...she just couldn’t stay. Not anymore.  
  


“What can I do to make you stay?” Obi-Wan’s voice was hoarse, tainted with sadness, almost pleading. 

“I’m not sure there’s anything to do.” Mara answered quietly, her head staying low as she opened her eyes again and turned, not paying her friend a look before she walked out the door and left.    
  


She headed straight to her own chambers, retrieving her Jedi Order-issued travel bag from the side of her wardrobe, and started packing some civilian clothes in it, as well as some of her training gear and a few credits she’d been saving in case things got awry. She stopped for a second, staring at the filled bag in regret, and started unpacking before changing her mind and packing again. This hesitation continued for almost an hour, which she spent emptying and refilling the bag as she mentally weighed the pros and cons of leaving behind the only life she’d ever known. After some time, she realized what she was doing was both useless and ridiculous and eventually went to bed, choosing to sleep on it and make a final decision when the sun would be up again. 

She tossed and turned in her sheets all through the night, unable to stay still and let sleep overcome her. The voices inside her head were still debating whether she should leave or not, too loud to let her mind drift away and relax. 


End file.
